Ahhh, Ethel. I don’t understand these youngin’s today with their loud music and tattoos and dalliances on the Interwebs. Always glued to their fandango phones with their appy things on the iWhatever. Heavens, the boys have long hair, and the girls have shaved heads and they all dress like hobos! They need to take a leaf out of this reliable bean’s book and straighten up and fly right. I tell you, the youth of today… (*shakes head*).
Hails from: A blend of four origins: Honduras (El Paraiso, 1600 MASL), Ethiopia (Sidamo Guji, 1600-1800 MASL, natural process), Brazil (Patrocínio bourbon, 1400-1500 MASL) and Rwanda (Gihombo Microlot, 1700 MASL).
Alias: Fully developed
Perfect for: The older generation who don’t have time to f*ck around with their coffee. (Probably because they’re too busy watching their stock portfolio rise or spending their kid’s inheritance on a state-of-the-art camper van.)
Personality: Big bodied. Consistent. Bold AF. May whack you in the face taking a photo with its iPad.
Likes: Reading the newspaper. Frank Sinatra. Puzzles.
Dislikes: Rap music. Laziness. Youngin’s who need to get a damn haircut.
Smells like: Roasted hazelnuts. Dark chocolate. Caramel. A touch of senility.
Serve it up: Cappuccino, latte and other milk-based coffees. Pairs nicely with alternative milk types. (And scones. Always scones.)
Stay away from: Filter, syphon and cold brew styles. (Unless you want a bitch slap to the face.) Not recommended served black.